We know your type – unkept, unwashed and ill of thought trailer trash, sitting there in your own mucky smells, possibly even rejected from the high brow Jeremy Vile show in case you leave a stain on his thrown about chairing equipment. So, with nowhere to go who can you turn to?
Well! Look no further than our lovable Emporium Agony Aunt – Beryl the dog. She has sizable ears to listen to your incessant moans and groans – I mean problems – whether it may be of the knitting or sewing persuasion, shacking up with Grandpa’s second wife Gertrude or asking for a DNA test on your pet beaver Nigel.
If you wish to remain anonymous for reasons best known to you and your own deplorable actions – we will try our very best not to shout your name out in a fit of passion at an inappropriate moment in our own history making – but don’t bet on it!
So don’t be shy – expose yourself for the true fault-ful knitwit that you are – and, ahem, we look forward to helping you soon!
Message Beryl by leaving a comment below, messaging on the Emporium’s Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/MissHegartysEmporiumOfCreativeGenius) or contacting via her email address: email@example.com
(Please write soon – or the mouse gets it!)
Dear Auntie Beryl……..
Come and share your personal dilemmas with the lovely Auntie Beryl. She will tackle your problems, however Great or Small, Little and Large or Mumford and Sons. She would love to help you in whatever aspect of your life is in need of a good shake up, be it crafting, relationships or lack of fulfillment in general. She has no therapy experience whatsoever and will probably just cock her leg at you, so waterproof trousers are essential when awaiting her reply.
Contact Auntie Beryl on our facebook page or at firstname.lastname@example.org
Auntie Beryl is here for you … with a waggy tail and her baited chum breath.
© Liz Coleman and Kerry Hegarty and Miss Hegarty’s Emporium of Creative genius 2012e]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Liz Coleman and Kerry Hegarty and Miss Hegarty’s Emporium of Creative Genius with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.