Category Archives: Ask Beryl

Dear Readers

We know your type – unkept, unwashed and ill of thought trailer trash, sitting there in your own mucky smells, possibly even rejected from the high brow Jeremy Vile show in case you leave a stain on his thrown about chairing equipment.  So, with nowhere to go who can you turn to?

Well!  Look no further than our lovable Emporium Agony Aunt – Beryl the dog.  She has sizable ears to listen to your incessant moans and groans – I mean problems – whether it may be of the knitting or sewing persuasion, shacking up with Grandpa’s second wife Gertrude or asking for a DNA test on your pet beaver Nigel.

If you wish to remain anonymous for reasons best known to you and your own deplorable actions – we will try our very best not to shout your name out in a fit of passion at an inappropriate moment in our own history making  – but don’t bet on it!

So don’t be shy – expose yourself for the true fault-ful knitwit that you are – and, ahem, we look forward to helping you soon!

Message Beryl by leaving a comment below, messaging on the Emporium’s Facebook page ( or contacting via her email address:

(Please write soon – or the mouse gets it!)